How I saved dinner (and not running)

I was going to post this big thing about how Nebraska is apparently Antarctica, children have stopped going to school, and haven't I run or felt concrete in a long time since it's simply not safe. But that would have been annoying and no fun. The short story is I'm dying to get outside and run. Dying. I'm trying to make the best of it with the elliptical in my basement and plenty of lifting and yoga videos, but it's not nearly the same. Sunday is supposed to be 22, and I'm going out one way or another.

So in lue of a complaining post about the inconvenience of windchill, I thought I'd give you all a peek into my marriage, why I'm the best wife ever, and how the snow almost ruined dinner:

The Husband's car doesn't drive in the snow, so we usually ride together to work on days like yesterday. (Snowing, windy, very cold.) I want to be at work by 8:30A and we leave accordingly. As I pull into the parking lot, he realizes he has no office key since he didn't drive and the office key lives with the car key.

This has happened before.

N: (Glare)
The Husband: Don't worry. Brad's coming at 8:30. We just have to sit here for a few minutes.
N: Uh huh.

20 minutes later and well past 8:30, I decide I have to go to work and throw him out the door to sit in the coffee shop across the street.

He thinks I'm mad, which I really wasn't, and calls midday to offer to make dinner. Good thinkin', hon. Our plan is for me to pick him up at 4 to go home.

I get busy and don't leave until 4:30 but no big deal... until I drive into his office parking lot and he tells me to pull into the space instead of just jumping in and us driving off. This can't be good.

TH: Don't be mad.
N: Whhhhy?
TH: Well, I forgot that I don't have my keys when everyone left, so I can't lock up, and now we have to wait for Brad to come back.
N: Let me guess, we should only have to sit here for a few minutes.
TH: Yes, please don't be mad.

As I'm sitting there contemplating the pros and cons of being single again while trying to wrap my head around doing the exact same damn thing we did 8 hours prior, he's trying to babble about this awesome pizza he's going to make to lighten the mood.

TH: ...and the sauce...
N: Wait, I made spaghetti and turkey meatballs two nights ago.
TH: Yes, and it was very very good.
(kissass)
N: I only bought one jar of sauce for this week.
TH: Oh. That IS a problem. What do you want to do?
N: We can have leftovers tonight and go to the store tomorrow OR just go now.
TH: Hmmm, I don't really want to do either. It's very cold and snowy.
N: I don't want to be sitting in this goddamn car AGAIN, but we all can't get what we want.
TH: Good point. How about I drop you off at home and then go?
N: That's dumb. We'll see what I'm in the mood to do when Brad finally gets here.

Time passes, gas gets wasted, and I hate Brad's slow driving ass. (Although probably not as much as Brad hates The Husband's dumbass ass.)

I look around and wish the liquor store across the street sold food... I wish the Weight Watchers next to that sold food... I wish the sandwich place next to that sold sauce... I wish the Valentino's italian buffet next to that sold-- WAIT A MINUTE!

N: I bet you $100k that Valentino's sells their jars of spaghetti sauce at the restaurant!
TH: I bet you're right!
N: And if they don't, you are getting a cup, taking some sauce from the buffet, and paying whatever they charge. You will not be leaving sauce-less.
TH: Check.

Brad finally comes and we drive across the parking lot to Valentino's. A minute later, he comes bounding out smiling and proudly holding a $4 jar of Val's spaghetti sauce.

Much celebrating was done in the car because I'm an absolute genius (me) and my mood had improved greatly (him). Dinner was amazing, worth every penny, and The Husband was thanking his lucky stars he's married to a someone so stinkin' brilliant. (Maybe I made that last part up, but he SHOULD HAVE BEEN!)